When I was in High School I began to impulsively create a map, which, at the time I believed was the map of the Universe. I was under the impression that the more refined this map became the more power I would have in the universe. I would seemingly exist as a god in an alternative reality, and the more extensions I built to this map the more power I would harbor. The belief came from the fact that if the universe was endless then anything that I could fathom would be tangible, thus the manifestation of this map had real implications. The map is rudimentary, sloppy, and drawn on lined paper – it makes no sense, but it exists as a turning point in the way that I thought about the things I create.
The land that I was connecting to may have possibly been Heo (the planet of Discount Plus), I would not be surprised if in some convoluted way there was a reflection of this energy somewhere far away. All I know is that it took me by surprise, and it was the first piece of work that felt like more of a facilitation of external energy, rather than an application of my own. I will do my best to explain the the Map, although most of its logic has faded from my mind.
Map A was the first. After it was created I was sure that I was onto something, and the rest extrapolated onto the first, attempting to explain it in more detail, of course I needed more detail, because I assumed that I had created the complete a map of the universe.
Maybe beings from a place beyond my knowledge were forcing my hand, and that I, the lowly conduit, would be honored by inclusion into this marvelous scheme. These beings were generally reflected in my mind as “others”, from places that I would barely have the mental capacity to picture.
Within this map I decided that I was going to create. The map had opened a conduit from my world to one that had not quite existed yet, however my conscious imagining of it in my mind would bring it to this reality. I imagined being a dictator of the fictional land, an alter ego of myself that exerted machiavellian principles to assert that I did indeed possess power. I wanted it to be real so badly, to give me control, to validate my importance in the scheme of things.
I was obsessed.
I created laws, and permissible behaviors for both the robot and human citizens of this world, which would then be used to plot them against each other, so that they would both be submissive beings. “Love creates the map, but the absence of love controls the map.” This was my world at the time. If I could just remove myself from the consequences of my emotions I would have control. I would have the universe at my disposal.
Most who I explained the map to distanced themselves from me. I would hear some laughs behind my back, or feel an accusing glare. Then there were those who agreed with me, and their obsession fed mine. One of my friends who I was very fond of thought that I had truly tapped into this other world, just as I did. We often exchanged theories of how we’d get there. We would make art together, and laugh at the absurdities of the world as it is presented. As years went by they told me men had come to visit her in her dreams, that she would be going there soon, that they were waiting for her. She ended her life by throwing herself off of a roof. I saw where this path lead. I did not go to her funeral. Now I realize it was because despite the fact that many called her “sick” she understood reality more than most people I had ever met, and this terrified me.
I gave all of these maps and drawings to my father for safekeeping. They all disappeared into the disorganized vacuum of our apartment. To my friends I joked that my father had probably hidden, or burned them to try and alleviate the energy I had put into this obsession. But what I really believed was far more fantastical.
I believed that beings from the other reality (where I was a vicious dictator), had come to my reality to retrieve and destroy the map. For if it was destroyed in this reality, then their reality filled with pain and unneeded suffering would cease to exist. A universal suicide of sorts.
There is no basis in physics, math or science, this is wholeheartedly based on the chaotic workings of an adolescent mind. Many of the concepts I believed to be true I now understand to be wrong. In order to represent the piece accurately I will disclose my original interpretation.
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This was the Initial Map. The shape of the universe was drawn as an overlapping worm that cause ripples on nothingness. The ripples within the overlaps are much more energetic, and thus are represented in a different color (Blue and Red). The Blue and Red ripples cause a a repulsion in the opposing expanses of universe, thus dictating the growth of the overall shape.
Within the universe exist a tapestry of endless boxes, which I represented with as many as I could fit inside the worm. These boxes represent only half of the cube, the cube representing 3 dimensional space. No dimension can intersect with itself, which I attempted to accomplish by having no two identical numbers touch in this drawing. The thought was that any redundancy in the dimension may alter the overall state of experience. This reinforced the idea that 3 dimensional space could be experienced differently due to the orientation of the dimensions in the context of surrounding dimensional space.
This map attempted to compensate for the rest of the cube, and to offer up an explanation as to what the rest of the cube was comprised of. In this cube I tried to tally the number of even and odd numbers in each chain of “crystals”. Looking back I think the development of the cube was just to assure symmetry. Each crystal can only be represented three dimensionally, with the aide of another crystal. This evokes the idea that this three dimensional space is entirely dependent on the context surrounding it, unlike the two dimensional representation of the cubes.
The necessity for external elements to be involved for completion indicate that there need for their to be endless crystals for the system to work, anything different would leave a loose 2 dimensional system at bay, and disrupt the system. This necessity evokes a description of an external dimension that cannot be represented on this sheet. I believe that there are some miscalculations in this piece.
In order to compensate 3 dimensional experience within the crystal certain dimensions had to cross the dimensions of the larger structure. Implying that the experience of one dimension not only necessitated a conglomerate of dimensions nested together, but also that one dimension could be experienced very differently depending on the context of it to other dimensions. From a physical standpoint this seemed to imply that any experience of these dimensions was personal, and dependent on the viewer. This seemed to be validated by the fact that the map made perfect sense to me but no one else.
At this point a pattern began to emerge that every structure that I created would have to be compensated with smaller structures to validate its integrity. All of these structures interacted with each other and made a thick static that was easy to choke on.
I do not remember why I designated 5 to be at the center of the dimension here and on the graphs to come. I think I liked the aesthetic of the reflecting dimension that would only touch by a pinpoint, so that if it was folded onto itself it would be the exact opposite of the original.
There are also miscalculations here.
This Map was the most abstract representation of my convoluted logic.
At this point I submitted to the ideal that in endless space and time any amount of nonsense would eventually add up to making sense. This is the philosophy that allowed to become so immersed in the worlds of Elan Amen Taro, and Discount Plus. It allowed me to believe that any reality that existed inside of my imagination was a tangible thing that I could connect to spiritually.
The above map blends the previous 3, and abstractly represents the corners, where all dimensions exist as the same dimension. It is at this point that time can be tackled and manipulated.
Within this map exists the idea of the “improbability matrix” a place where unlikely convergences occurred, allowing space for the universe to exercise the actions that would rarely occur within it.
I not only wanted to control the physical landscape of my empire. I wanted to control it’s citizens. The only appropriate way to exercise the newfound power was by making my new world as homogenous as possible -only then would I be able to utilize my forces as efficiently as I needed to. I set up a variety of parameters for the minds of my citizens so that I could control them. Then I created androids that would monitor the citizens just in case. Below are the appropriate maps of their mind.